Luigi's Worst Nightmare!
by The Great Chicken Miasma
Summary: [HIATUS] This could very well be one of my most disturbing stories ever... Follow Mario, Luigi, Peach, and even Bowser as they try to thwart the evils of a crazed psychopath! Superstar Saga fans will get a kick out of this!


_**Authoress' Notes: SURPRISE! IT'S BAAAAAAAAACK!** I told you **"Luigi's Worst Nightmare"** wasn't over and I was right! Here it is: Totally revised and reposted! Enjoy! Oh, and I don't own anyone in this except for Luianna!

* * *

_

_**Luigi's Worst Nightmare!**_

_**Chapter 1:** The Nightmare Begins!

* * *

_

_Once upon a time, there was an Authoress, a BORED Authoress; an Authoress with a dream, a fantasy, AN IDEA! (And boy, it sure wasn't pretty...) ...But she was lazy, so she created the Narrator, who decided to introduce the story!_

"Hi!" said the Narrator who wanted to introduce the story! "This is the Mushroom Kingdom!"

Some random Toads popped up from nowhere because they're annoyingly cute! "YAY!"

"It's very sunny here!" he continued.

"YAY!" the Toads agreed!

"But a lot of weird stuff happens!" the Narrator frowned.

The Toads also frowned! "AWW!"

"And this is..."

He was suddenly interrupted by Baby Mario randomly appearing and killing him with a FIRE FLOWER! **_"MUST... KILL... STUPID PEOPLE!"_**

"Eep," the Mushroom things squeaked before running for their motherfucking lives.

Baby Mario chased after them! **"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

_Then Mario and Luigi appeared out of nowhere... Well, not really... They were already kinda there... Actually, they've always been here... INSIDE OUR MINDS... _

Luigi sweatdropped at the crazy Baby Mario. "You really had some issues when you were a kid..."

Mario got mad! "Shut up!"

Luigi ignored him. "What the hell are we doing?"

Mario stared off into the UNKNOWN. "I have no idea."

_Then, Luigi's stomach decided to attack! Well, growl..._

"I'm hungry," the green guy said, rubbing his evil stomach bent on world domination.

"Let's go eat at that new Italian restaurant I've been hearing so much about," the red guy said.

_At the new Italian restaurant Mario's been hearing so much about! OMG!_

Luigi slurped down yet another bowl of spaghetti. "Yum, this spaghetti rocks the house!"

Mario then proceeded to choke him with an overdue library book! "Shut up! Your ass is paying for all this..."

Luigi glared at him! "WHAT?"

"You heard me! YOU ATE, YOU PAY!"

"You ate, too!" Luigi retorted, quite angrily!

"Well, I save the world and eat donuts on a regularly basis, so I don't have to pay!" Mario huffed!

"What's that got to do with anything?"

Mario changed the subject! "Look! A hot, unidentified girl who happened to walk in here just because!"

_Just as he said, a really hot-looking girl came in and sat down at a table across the room! Due to the fact that there are millions of ways someone can see something as "beautiful", I'll just leave her features up to the human mind! ...But remember, she was ATTRACTIVE, not unattractive!_

"Why don'y you go hit on her for no appaerent reason?" Mario suggested.

"Daisy'll kill me!"

No, she won't; you're gay," Mario added.

Luigi gasped! "I'm not gay!"

Mario shoved Luigi over to the girl. "Then stop messing around and prove it!"

"Yeah, but..." Upon closer inspection, Luigi noticed something strangely familiar about the girl, even though he knew he'd never seen her before! "IT'S YOU! Wait, who are you?"

"I am Luianna, t3h EVIL, yet unrelated in every way counterpart of the Authoress writing this crap, because she has a very unhealthy obsession with you and your gayness!" the creepy girl from the deep recesses of an inane universe explained!

Luigi frowned! "I'm not gay!"

"Yes, you are! Now, shut up before I decide to make a plot twist!"

Luigi backed away! "...What?"

Luianna snapped her fingers! "Too late!"

Luigi ran like hell! **"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

Luianna chased him like hell! **"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!**

Mario ate some pasta! "NOW we're getting somewhere!"

* * *

_And so, due to the fact that it's funny, Luigi heads for the place where everybody always plays golf... place... thingy... I dunno... _

Mr. Green took out a golf club and decided to polish it! "I think I lost her... Now to finally relax and have some enjoyment for once!"

_He strolled around for a bit until he eventually ran into Wario and Waluigi, being idiots, like usual..._

Wario slapped Waluigi! "I said swing, damn it! SWING!

Waluigi glared at his very ugly brother! "I'm trying, damn! Don't rush me!"

_Waluigi makes a weak attempt to swing and the ball moves exactly -9,018,368,593,628,202 ft. and 3 inches!_

Wario sweatdropped at his brother's god-awful hit! "PATHETIC!"

Waluigi smiled! "Did I get a booger?"

Wario shoved him! "Not BOOGER, you dope; **BOOGEY!"**

Waluigi stopped to think for a second. "Oh..." Then he started doing the Electric Slide! "So, now I have to dance!"

Then, Luigi chose to walk up! "Hey, guys! How's it going?"

Wario shrugged. "Not so good. This nutcase here forgot how to play golf... AGAIN!"

"He never knew how to play in the first place; he just swings really hard and hopes he hits something!" Luigi rolled his eyes.

"MY POINT EXACTLY!" Wario shouted, almost certain Luigi didn't know the hell he was talking about.

Luigi blew him off! "Whatever!"

Just then, the demented and probably retarded Luianna rose out of a sandtrap! **"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!** I told you; you can't get away!"

"HOLY SHIT!" Luigi shouted!

"**WHO THE HELL IS THAT?"** Wario demanded, pointing at Luianna!

"**SHE'S MAD, I TELL YOU!"** Waluigi added to the chaos!

Wario eyed Waluigi. "How do you know?"

Waluigi eyed Wario! "I can tell these sorts of things..."

Luigi threw his golf club at Luianna and ran for it! "RUN AWAY!"

Catching the club, Luianna waved it around triumphantly. "Thanks for the souvenir, Luigi-Weegi! I shall treasure like processed cheese and soda cans!"

Wario seatdropped. "That woman's psycho!"

"**_KSKFNFIDOOPAOWMNEDHVFJDKDJDSIDFNMSGQUCMG!"_** Waluigi screeched, for some indistinct reason!

And to make matters even _worse_, a Chain Chomp woke up from its nap in the sandtrap and decided, to like, attack and stuff! "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..." it said!

Waluigi saw this and acknowledged, "Beware of the Chimps!"

And Wario promptly slapped him! "Asshole, that's a Chomp!"

"FORE!" Luianna whacked the Chain Chomp with the golf club so hard, its chain broke and it flew, soaring through the air in a daze!

_Wario sweatdropped, while Waluigi looked on in confusion!_

Luianna glared at the soaring Chomp in the distance. "Man, I hate golf... Well, I'm off! Hey, that rhymed! **OOGEDY BOOGEDY AHH!"**

_And with that, she randomly got into a conveniently-placed golf cart thingy and drove off!_

Wario watched her leave. "That was... different..."

"**AND THE COW JUMPED OVER THE MOON!"** Waluigi shouted, somehow exploding in the process!

* * *

_Okay... Elsewhere, Luigi is sprinting like mad towards who-knows-where, as the passionate Luianna chases him nonchalantly! ...Exactly, WHERE are we going with this?_

"Gotta hide, gotta hide, gotta hide!" Luigi panted, as he ran. Then he saw Peach's castle! "AHA!"

_As Luigi makes a beeline for Peach's castle, the Koopa kids are standing outside the front doing, doing nothing whatsoever, waiting for their father to reveal himself!_

Wendy was pissed! "This sucks!" she pointed at Ludwig! "You suck! Everything sucks, GODAMNIT!"

Ludwig rolled his eyes. "Tell me something I _don't _know..."

"You cannot surpass my originality!" Bowser Jr. randomly shouted, being there because I think he's cute. "I rocked da house in _'Super Mario Sunshine'_!"

"All right! That's it!" Wendy stomped over to Bowser Jr.!

"Bow down to me now, for you cannot stop SHADOW MARIO!" Bowser Jr. continued to brag!

Wendy punched B.J.!** "SHUT YER TRAP!"**

B.J. stuck his tongue out! "I CANNOT BE SILENCED!"

Roy sighed. "Where's Dad when you need him?"

"Don't know, don't care!" Lemmy happily chirped, playing his GBA-SP!

Larry looked around, then smiled a toothy smile! **"I JUST MADE POO POO!"**

Iggy frowned. "Eww..."

_Suddenly, a green blur flew by! It was Luigi! He dove into the castle!_

Morton looked around. "What the hell was that?"

"**SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER MARIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... SUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!"** B.J. announced, not only scaring the others by his random outburst, but sound almost like Mario while doing so... and that's... that's just plain wrong...

_Breaking the awkward 2.8393 second silence, Luianna suddenly drove up in her golf cart thingy! Unfortunately, she runs over Lemmy's foot in the process!_

"Owowowowowowow!" Out of all his pain, he accidentally throws his GBA-SP into the nearby moat! "DAMN IT!"

Stopping the cart, Luianna got out. "Any of you half-wits, excluding Wendy, seen Luigi come by here?"

Morton scratched his head. "Uh..."

Iggy slowly shook his head. "...No..."

B.J. jumped up and down! "SMS! SMS! SMS! SMS! SMS!"

Lemmy stared at the moat in a stupor! "MY GBA-SP!"

Roy smiled. "Nope!"

Ludwig shrugged. "Luigi? I haven't seen him..."

Larry was confused! "Who?"

"**YOU ALL SUCK ON ICE!"** Wendy proclaimed!

Luianna sweatdropped. "Okay... um... Then, where's Bowser?"

Ludwig smiled! "Probably kidnapping someone!"

Iggy shrugged. "Who knows where that turtle is at this time of day?"

Larry stopped picking his nose! "Wait... LUIGI'S IN THE CASTLE?"

Wendy sneered. "That's a straight-out lie! We would've seen him in the broad daylight!"

"Yeah, and besides, Dad is a dinosaur, not a turtle," Roy pointed out.

"Bowser's not a dinosaur, he's a KOOPA, DAMN IT!" Luianna shouted, enraged by the stupidness of the kids!

B.J. perked up! **"HE IS?"**

_Iggy sweatdropped!_

"**YOU STINK!"** Wendy reminded everyone!

"FORGET THIS!" Luianna stomped on the gas! She plowed through the castle doors and rove inside!

"Hey, wait! Don't go on in... aw, whatever..." Morton shrugged.

Roy began to whine! "Dad has gone missing! **WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"**

Lemmy threw his head back and yelled, **"MY PRECIOUS GBA-SP! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

Wendy slapped him! "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"WAH!" In response to this, Lemmy jumped over the railing and into the moat, leaving Wendy to sweatdrop in confusion!

Then B.J. came up again! **"I AM SUPERIOR! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PIANTAS FEAR ME BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT I IMPEND TO RAIN DOWN DOOM UPON THEIR POTTED PLAT HEADS!"**

Iggy frowned. "I'm surrounded by assholes..."

* * *

_**Authoress' Notes:** In any case of confusion, Luianna is just a character I made up to represent my strange obsession with Luigi. She's not based the real me in any way, but I probably would send someone like to torture Luigi, cause it's so damn funny to watch how he reacts. Sorry if this chapter wasn't very funny; trust me, it'll get better! ...If I didn't know any better, I'd say I'm schizophrenic... O.O_


End file.
